Is this normal?

I'm having the same feelings with my stbx wife. She is perfectly content to be friends vbecause that makes everything easy. There's no tension or hostility, she can still sleep with the boyfriend she was cheating on me with, the kids won't feel any tension, and basically she gets let off the hook for ruining our lives and trying to keep things amicable. I can't stand the fact that she's trying to have her cake and eat it too. She's trying to find a way to keep the boyfriend and keep peace with me. You're right, it hurts too much and I'm sure it's perfectly normal. Who can live with that kind of betrayal and disrespect and still feel like there is any sort of friendship involved. Friends don't lie, deceive and ruin other friends lives. I have the double whammy because I'm the husband in the relationship so in addition to the hurt and humiliation I have to turn over more than half my paycheck, and by the way she got the house. All I can suggest is to be civil if you're discussing your daughter and also in front of your daughter, but make it perfectly clear you have no interest in his life and won't allow him to have any interest in your life. He doesn't deserve you and you deserve better than him. I know from experience it won't be easy and you won't get over your feelings quickly but you have to be strong for your own sake. The only thing worse than being treated like dirt by him would be if you started to let yourself feel like dirt. He is a dirtbag and you need to tell yourself that every day. Don't let your daughter feel the hostility, work at the do-parenting, but don't engage in anything other than that with him. Good luck.

I think you need to decide if you want him or not. I agree with nomoreus that you deserve better. It seems like he is just using you for sex when it is serves his purpose. You should remain civil because of children. I understand some because my husband wants me to do everything for him even though I don't live there. He blames me when bills are not paid even though I work and go to school (he doesn't work at all). When something happens he runs to my children and tells them lies, which some of them believe others don't care. this is hard on the children and I wish I had someone who said they just want to be friends to help reduce the conflict with the children.

Thanks for all the support! I know that I do not want to be with him anymore and (thankfully) our daughter is too young to ever remember any of this in the end (almost 18 months). I just don't get it, and asked him about it when I dropped her off todat at his house. I told him I couldn't be friends and he didn't understand why. I tried to explain it to him but he wanted to hear none of it so whatever. He keeps telling me that I have to get a job, I'm looking and have my masters in Education but shools aren't usually hiring right now. I would like to stay in the house if possible (hopefully with the job I can) but he's now saying that if we go to mediation without lawyers he'll give me more than what the state will offer me but if we go through the whole process with our lawyers then he'll only give me what the state says. I'm just hurt that someone who onced loved me could treat me this way! I'm not asking for him to pay all the bills at all, once I can get on my feet again (since it was his decision for me to stay home with our daughter and then we moved) I can help! I haven't once asked him for money since he moved out either he's the one who drained the bank account and now if trying to give me money on the side, which I do not take. Thank you all again for your support!!!
Corinne :)

Cam, have you ever looked up http://www.divorceinfo.com/, it has a wide range of info one doesnt think of when under so much stress & more options to consider.

From what you describe he sounds like he wants his cake & eat it too, very confusing huh, glad your not falling for it anylonger & do consider roommates, you can find that online, (rent a room out for keeping things afloat) while you continue finding job opportunities.

Keep giving your situation a voice & be proud of yourself for turning your life around.