I'm new here WOULD LOVE SOME SUPPORT

hey dee dee how are you? i am 19 and is about to get an divorce. I know where you are coming from I ran away from home at a early agre to but I ran to be with a older man . He treated me like crap too, raped me and tried to make me sleep with his friends. We have 2 children a 3 year old boy and a new baby girl.

It is really hard i will not try to sugar code it. You will have lots of days when you tell yourself it aint worth it, you will be better off back there and let him kill you. But I tell you it is worth it you life is worth it your baby is worth it. I know he will hurt me or kill me if I go back there.

Sometime you want to go back to what you know but dont say away from him. You are not stupid at all. I called myself that a lot of time . If you want to chat my name is renee, send me a pm .

renee

Hey, I am doing faily ok tonight thank u for asking. Thank u 4 understanding 2, its so not fare what has happened. I spend most days crying and wish my life was ova. I look at my baby and I know she need me I am all she have and she is all I have. Again thank you for emailing me back.

Dee Dee

First of all Dee, don't ever call yourself stupid again. Don't let this moron change your opinion of yourself or take away your self esteem. There's nothing wrong with being scared and not knowing what the right thing to do is. You're very brave for getting your little gir away from him and for coming to this site and asking for help. You are definately on the right track. Continue to avoid him. Keep him out of both of you lives but that doesn't mean he doesn't have to help support your daughter. If you're already communicating thru lawyers have your lawyer help you get child support. Don't let him walk away. Just because he was a worthless husband doesn't mean he's not her father. Make him pay his due. I'm sure your lawyer can accomplish this and still keep your whereabouts unknown. Good luck and God bless you.

nomoreus I would like to say thank you for responding. Doing this on my own is tough. Nina means so much to me and I'm thinking she deserves so much better than she has been given. i looked into her EYES tonight and I asked God is there a purpose for all her heart suffering. We have been slaying in a hotel for a little while now she needs a home, a real home where she can run and play and be a little girl. I want MORE for my little girl.

If I'm never HAPPY I can deal with that but she has to be happy. It is not her FAULT I put her in this mess.

I call myself stupid because I chose this life, I put myself in harms ways time and time again. I really dont feel BRAVE in no kind of way. I am so temped at time to call him and say can I come home I am sorry. I havent done anything though but I'm so lonely here.

I wish I had some plaace to go.

Deedee, you may be young but you've had a life rougher than most. I am so sorry you've had such a tough time. I want to add my 2 cents.

My ex husband was emotionally abusive and cheated on me (by the way I'm 55 and old enough to know better). I stayed with him thru the emotional abuse and some physical abuse (but none as bad as your's) because I thought I deserved it and I thought no one will ever love me and he was my last chance of love and happiness.

It got so bad I had to file for divorce and even then, I found myself loving him and missing him and it dawned on me one day I didn't love him I loved the person I thought he was. This creep he turned out to be is NOT anyone I want to grow old with.

Then someone here asked a question that changed my thinking, "why would you want to spend time with someone who doesn't want to be with you". No matter what my ex said in the begining about wanting to be with me, if he had really wanted to be with me, there wouldn't have been all the abuse. Bottom line is men who hit women do not deserve to be in a relationship nor should they be permitted to do so.

Please know you are young and have your whole life ahead of you. Hopefully you will get the help you need and one day you will meet someone who will love you the way you deserve you (and your baby) deserve to be loved.

elegantlinda thank you for your encouraging words. i am sorry for what you have gone through. I think if I had a family who loved and cared about me I would be better off. Living in a new town with no one but Nina is hard. I have no one to talk to me, on one to say things will be ok. I feel like I am losing my mind.

Have you considered church? It may sound weird but I went back to a church I had left a couple of years ago (long story there that I won't go into). I found a loving group of women who rallied around me during my divorce.

Also, check out local divorce support groups. The one I belong to is amazing. We meet every Monday night to learn how to survive a divorce (and it's all based on Bible principles), but then a group of us meet every Friday night for dinner at a local restaurant or a covered dish at someone's home. You would be amazed at how much love and support you can find out there among strangers who become closer to you than family simply because they too know first hand what it's like to go thru a divorce.

elegantlinda, I would consider going to a church but i am new to this place I am staying in a hotel. When i find us a home I will looking a church family. I think that was a good ideal. Thank you for the ideals.

Dee Dee

He messed with your mind, dont you dare go back. He will never ever change. Ever. Please dont do anything like this. He is fucked up in the head and he will try to make you like him. You are an individual and you are beautiful the way you are. Please do not let your self go back.