He showed his true colors and Cheated...

By manic_me on Sun, 02-12-12, 00:27

Posted in Group:

My husband cheated on me and got his now girlfriend pregnant with a son... We have 3 daughters and always wanted a son too and I found out he went on to have one with another woman... I feel hurt because when we were together he wanted me to have my tubes tied so we wouldn't have anymore children, but he went on to have an affair with his married coworker and now they have a son with the name we were planning on. When I first found out I felt so betrayed and he wanted me to continued with our life like it was no big deal. He said he wanted me to forgive him and move out to where he is and continue being his wife. When we last talked he mentioned that we should have some kind of relationship almost like he wanted to cheat on that woman with me... He said that he'd told her she could never replace me in his heart and that I'd always be his wife... He said he told her to have an abortion, he asked for paternity, he told her he'd never feel about anyone the way he felt about me... I don't want to be in his life anymore though. I want him to disappear from our lives and never come back. Our daughters are hurt that he would replace us just because he can't ever be alone. He doesn't make an effort to have a relationship with our daughters, or even feel as though he's sorry about what he's done. The last conversation we had he told me I deserved to be happy, I deserved to find someone love me and make up for all of the misery he put me thru, that I was gorgeous and he knew I'd never forgive him. It sounded like he was trying to charm his way to one last fling between us... I said it was never going to happen because although I was technically still his wife on paper we were over from the moment he came clean about the affair... I wouldn't do that to the woman who had just had his child. I wouldn't be his toy or excuse.

It's not hard to believe he did this to me. He actually threaten to hurt me this way if I put an Order of Protection against him again. He is so abusive and mean that I knew there was no going back once I tried to keep myself and my daughters safe from him... I don't regrett it because he just proved how evil he really is. He showed his true form and even if it hurt me I know I'll be okay. I know he will finally let me move on now and possibly find love elsewhere. I only hope he'll let my daughters go also. If you read this please pray he won't fight for custody... My girls are scared of him and they just want him to keep his distance from all of us...

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By elegantlinda on Sun, 02-12-12, 05:19

Dear Manic, I am so sorry he hurt you. He was the one person you should have been able to depend on and just like my ex, your's also chose to cheat.

The stuff about him wanting you to be happy, etc. mine said the same exact things to me and he also said he wasn't sure he ever loved me but it was all to convince me to file for divorce - he had no intention of ending the affair.

You sound like a very strong person and that you have made up your mind to move on. I say good for you but be careful. He sounds like he has to be in control at all times and while you never indicated he has been violent, I got the impression that you think he could be. I don't think any judge would give him custody of your daughters BUT he would probably be granted every other weekend custody.

Have you contacted an attorney yet? If not please do so and find out what your rights are as well as what your daughters' rights are.

Hugs and prayers to you and your daughters.

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By manic_me on Sun, 02-12-12, 16:40

Hi elegantlinda thank you for your good thoughts and yes he has been very violent towards us so I'm scared of what he'll do. I do know the type of man he is and that manipulation is something he loves to do. I don't plan on ever looking back and since we live in different states I hope the judge sees the danger my babies will be in if he can have access to them. He still claims he loves me that he only cheated because I neglected him. I'm sure that if I forgave him and planned on moving to where he is than he would be ok with that, but that's not what I want to teach my babies. I feel so anxious over the whole situation, but I will look into an attorney thanks for the support.

*M*a*n*i*c_M*e*

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By manic_me on Sun, 02-12-12, 16:40

*M*a*n*i*c_M*e*

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By elegantlinda on Sun, 02-12-12, 18:00

Your attorney can be your best friend when it comes to legal matters if you get a good attorney. A friend of mine who is a paralegal gave me some great advice a while back - she said shop around until you find an attorney you are comfortable with and who connect with you. The initial consultation is usually free and this allows you to gather information and to see if you feel this is the attorney you would want to trust and pay to represent you.

A good attorney is worth their weight in gold!

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